Tuesday, September 27, 2011'♥
Decided to blog before I slp..
Recently happened alot of things..
Things that made me feel terrible.
But I really want to go back to the past.. To the past when we r always smiling and joking around.. But now it seems hard..
He hardly smile.. I made his smile become 86..
It's all my fault.. I feel so guilty.
He keep saying that it's ok it's nothing between us..
But I really feel that the problem is there..
And it lies with me.. I didn't want things to turn out this way..
I feels that maybe is my attitude when it comes to work..
Haix.. Hard to change but I will change..
Change for the better.. Change for the future..
I'm so lost of confidence..
Can my relationship keep gg?? Or it will have a full stop???
How I wish I can have a hug...
How I wish when I cry there's someone to say it's ok..
How I wish I can slp tonight..
How I wish I could stop crying..
How I wish how I wish..
Tuesday, September 13, 2011'♥
Today I send a msg to concern him bcos of the bad weather recently..
Actually didn't expect that he will reply me but seeing that he replied me makes my heart keep smiling.. Maybe he's not that heartless afterall..
Haix.. In the end, I'm the one who give in..
Ppl say in a relationship there must be a person who will always give in..
Somehow is it I'm the one who always give in??
But doesn't matters, as long as he replys me..
He ask me not to cry too much..
But how did he know that I cried..
Mmm.. Is it he put CCTV in my room??
Lolx.. Haix.. Sometimes I wonder that could we go back to the past??
Although today he replied my msg but he didn't say the 3 words that I want to hear..
Will I ever hear the 3 words again??
Now the time is 3.30am..
I wonder if I can get to slp today..
Night night
Sunday, September 11, 2011'♥
Today is just a fucking fucking day..
A day that I just want to scream out loud..
So totally pissed off..
He is my bf, even if I'm angry with him I also can't bear to scold him
But somehow I feel that the feeling that we used to have has changed totally..
It feels that we have already finished the honeymoon period..
Haix.. He is always talking in a manner that he dun care anymore..
He talks sarcastically to me and he didn't even think about how I will feel after listening..
Everytime I wan to tell him how I feels but I scared that it will changes everything..
I'm in a pathetic state now..
Can't scold can't blackface can't say out the words that is already at my mouth..
I know that he is my superior and he's my bf but pls pls pls do not say that bcos u r my superior then u can't make decisions.. I know where my limits r.. He will nv know that how angry and pissed off I was when I heard all those words coming out from his mouth..
I really dunno what to do now..
I guess this is the only place I can say out what i'm feeling inside..
Haix.. Dunno how long this cold war is gg to last..
But just hope it will end ASAP..
Haix.. Not gg to say anymore.. I'm gg to hide inside my pillow and cry..
Cry until I tired then I'll slp..